Couple having cold war in bed

Is my relationship doomed if we have mismatched sex drives?

When your sexual desires don't match your partner's, you may feel frustrated and powerless. Although sex plays a large role in a relationship, it doesn't mean that if your sexual desires don't match your partner's, your relationship is doomed to fail. As long as both parties have a positive attitude and the right way to solve these problems, they will be solved. This article will introduce some ways to help you better solve this problem and provide you with new ideas and help.

What is sexual desire mismatch?

When there is a large gap in sexual desire between you and your partner, the problem of sexual desire mismatch will emerge. Sexual desire is affected by many factors, such as hormones, stress, age, etc. Sexual desire fluctuates and cannot be maintained all the time. So it is normal to have sexual desire differences with your partner and not have the same frequency of sex life.

What is the reason for sexual desire mismatch?

There are many factors that affect sexual desire, such as alcohol, stress, lack of sleep, side effects of drugs, lack of exercise, and age. So avoiding these reasons, maintaining a healthy lifestyle and increasing proper exercise can effectively improve your sexual desire.

What should we do when sexual desire mismatch occurs?

Sexual desire mismatch is a very common thing. It is important not to blame each other and maintain a positive attitude and approach to solve the problem. Here are several ways we can try when sexual desire mismatch occurs.

1. Open communication

Communication is the basis of everything. Good communication can solve most problems in a relationship. If your partner has a low sexual desire recently, you can talk to your partner. As we talked about earlier, sexual desire can be affected by many factors, such as lack of sleep, stress and anxiety. Understand the reasons for your partner's low sexual desire.

You can make an appointment with your partner to talk at a time and place, choose a time and environment that both parties feel comfortable and relaxed, and avoid before and after sex or in the bedroom. Avoid criticizing and blaming each other when talking.

2. Understand each other's sexual desire type

Understanding what sex means to each other can be a good way to find alternatives. Understand each other's sexual desires, such as to relieve stress, better sleep, pure happiness, like intimate behavior, new things, etc.

Understand each other's sexual desire type, and when the sexual desire does not match, you can find an alternative.

3. Create a sexy atmosphere

Creating a sexy atmosphere can increase sexual desire and the number of sexual behaviors. So first of all, keeping the bedroom clean and tidy is a prerequisite. On this basis, create some sexy atmospheres, such as lighting scented candles, adding atmosphere lights, playing sexy music, etc.

Find things that make each other feel comfortable and sexy, and increase intimacy and connection with each other.

4. Increase intimacy

Maintain intimacy and physical contact in daily life, such as holding hands, hugging and kissing, etc. Maintaining intimacy can not only establish physical and emotional connections well, but also enhance sexual intimacy with each other.

5. Masturbation

Masturbation in a long-term romantic relationship does not mean that the relationship between each other has broken down. Masturbation can solve the difference in sexual desire between each other. Although masturbation is often considered a single sexual activity, in fact, you can masturbate with your partner. Or watching your partner masturbate can not only meet sexual needs, but also establish sexual connections with each other.

6. Arrange sex

Do you think that arranging sex is boring and sex can only be natural? In fact, it is not the case. In our daily life, we are always tied up by many things, which is also the reason for the uncoordinated sex life.

Arranging sex can bring many benefits, such as making sex life more regular, having more time to prepare, increasing sexual excitement and tension, and reducing interference from other things.

7. Redefine sex

Don't limit sex to penetrative sex, which will invisibly put pressure on each other. Try to redefine sex and expand the scope of sex. You can relieve this anxiety well and try other intimate behaviors, such as hugging, kissing and non-penetrative sex.

8. Seek help

If you have openly communicated with your partner and tried to actively solve it, but you are still in an uncoordinated sex life for a long time. Then it is important to seek help from a third party, such as a psychologist or sex therapist.

Final thoughts

It is very normal to have mismatched sexual desires in a long-term romantic relationship. After all, sexual desire is affected by many factors, such as stress, lack of sleep or side effects of medication. If this situation occurs, it is important to communicate openly and seek solutions as soon as possible, and seek help from a third party if necessary.

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