Everyone has different preferences or quirks, whether it is BDSM, role-playing, impact games or temperature games, these can add interest to sex life and make it more fresh and exciting. What happens if you don't like your partner's quirks?
If you are completely uninterested in your partner's quirks, or even disgusted. However, you don't know how to express it to your partner, and you are worried that this will affect the harmony of each other's sex life, or even the relationship. Below I will introduce some methods to deal with this situation.
How to communicate with your partner?
It is normal for everyone to have different preferences and quirks, so don't worry too much about it. If you are not interested in your partner's quirks, it is important to communicate with your partner in time and respect and understand each other's preferences. If your quirks are irreconcilable and you cannot meet each other's sexual needs, active communication and problem solving are necessary, and avoid criticism and accusations in the process. If necessary, you can also seek help from a third party, such as a sex therapist or doctor.
1. Choose the right time and place
If you want to have an open and honest communication with your partner, then first of all, choose a quiet scene where both parties feel comfortable, such as a restaurant, cafe, etc., and avoid after sex, before sex or in the bedroom. The right time can also make each other more relaxed to talk, and you can make an appointment with your partner in advance for a time and place to start the topic.
Sometimes differences do not mean irreconcilable. Frank communication may make each other understand each other better and increase intimacy. When communicating, keep patient listening and curiosity, understand each other's true desires for sexual fetishes, and communicate the points of attraction to each other, so as to find a better solution to satisfy each other's wishes.
Although it is possible that after a frank communication, you still can't get interested in your partner's sexual fetish. But don't be discouraged, and force yourself to do things you don't like. It will make people resentful for a long time, and it will also have a negative impact on emotions and relationships.
2. Start with small things and gradually enter the conversation
If you are afraid of hurting your partner or don't know how to bring it up, you can try to start with small things, such as, "I have learned new knowledge and skills recently, are you willing to talk to me?" Use this to start the topic, talk about your sexual fetish, or show your partner your favorite pornographic plot, exchange each other's preferences and details, and then talk about your partner's sexual fetish in a tactful way, and express that you can't accept it for the time being, but you can try to understand the reasons behind your liking this sexual fetish, and express to your partner that you are willing to try to understand.
3. Be empathetic
To be a good partner, it is important to have empathy. Even if you can't accept your partner's sexual fetish, you should try to express your understanding. This means understanding our partner's wishes, emotional needs and feelings. Talking about sexual fetishes sincerely with your partner can also bring you closer and increase intimacy with your partner.
If you are not sure, should you try it?
There is no single standard for the answer to this. If there is, it depends on whether you are willing to try it. But if you want to try it, communication and exchange are essential, formulate a safe word, and understand each other's boundaries.
Talk to your partner, "I'm not sure if I like it, but I'm willing to try it to find out what I like." If you feel uncomfortable or don't want to go on during the exploration process, you can always ask your partner to withdraw your consent. Express your feelings, dislikes, or discomfort to your partner. Don't worry, everyone has different preferences, and it's normal if you still can't accept it.
Final Thoughts
If you don't like your partner's sexual preferences, don't force yourself, and tell your partner your thoughts frankly. If you have communicated with your partner frankly or tried it, but still can't accept it, then please let yourself go, because you have tried hard. If you can't get satisfaction or harmony in your sex life for a long time, you can try to seek help from a third party, such as a sex therapist or doctor. This is necessary and not a shameful thing. Although if you can't accept your partner's sexual preferences, it doesn't mean that the relationship and emotions with your partner will definitely break down, but timely communication is always the key to solving the problem.